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However, in that column you mention, I referenced research from anthropologist John Marshall Townsend, who discovered that Samantha's post-sex detachment is pretty atypical — that many women cssual intend to use and lose a guy often find themselves going all clingypants the next morning. Understanding what allows the Samantha type to escape this takes separating the women who have casual sex from those who feel OK about it afterward. Women have casual sex Wives want casual sex Crumpler various reasons.

For some, it seems the feminist thing to do — to prove they can do anything a man can do. Townsend notes that women hook up because they aren't ready for a relationship, because they're trying to punch up their sex skills, or — as with rock groupies — to get some small piece of a guy they know is Wives want casual sex Crumpler of their league.

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Other women see hookups as the "free candy! There's a widespread belief, even held by some researchers, that higher testosterone levels in women mean a higher libido, but testosterone's role in female desire is like that Facebook relationship status: Personality seems to be one of those factors.

In looking at what's called "sociosexuality" — what sort of Wives want casual sex Crumpler has casual sex — psychologist Jeffrey A.

Simpson finds that extroversion being outgoing, exhibitionistic and adventure-seekingaggressiveness and impulsivity are associated with greater willingness to have an uncommitted tumble. However, once again, all the reasons a woman's more likely to have casual sex don't stop her from getting tangled up in feelings afterward. Wives want casual sex Crumpler

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The deciding factor Wives want casual sex Crumpler to be where she falls on what the Crumpelr British psychiatrist John Bowlby called our "attachment system. If she was consistently responsive but not overprotectiveyou're probably "securely attached," meaning you have a solid emotional base and feel you can count on others to be there for you.

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This allows Wuves to be both independent and interdependent. Being "anxiously attached" comes out of having a caregiver who was inconsistently there for you perhaps because they were worn thin or who was overprotective. The best way I can describe it is that I wanted something more profound.

I got more wamt out of nights spent engrossed in philosophical discussions, having heart-to-hearts with friends, and working on art projects. I wanted a relationship that would fulfill me emotionally, intellectually, and physically — and purely physical relationships were fun, but starting to feel incomplete.

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They told me sex and love were very intertwined for women, so it was hard for us to enjoy sex without an emotional bond. But I did enjoy emotionless hookups.

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People told me women got attached after sex due to hormones, so it was no wonder I wanted more. Actually, I felt sed distant.

That was precisely part of what I disliked about it. As a cognitive neuroscience major, I happened to know that sex can release bonding-related hormones for people of all genders.

So here are some explanations for why I and other women, as well as many people of other genders might choose not to have casual hookups — that have nothing to do with biological gender differences.

One possibility I first learned Wuves from the book The Ethical Slut is that women are less likely to engage in casual hookups because they involve being Wives want casual sex Crumpler an intimate setting with someone they may not be able to trust.

Women have casual sex for many different reasons

The possibility of getting assaulted was definitely on my mind when I sought out hookups. My wajt and I would text one another to make sure we were okay if we ever went home with anyone after a party.

During my freshmen year, my cousin and I met a group of guys at a party. I thought one of them was really cute.

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We stood outside and talked for a while. Afterward, I excitedly went back to his apartment.

After making out for a while, he told me to give him oral sex. I said no again. He pushed my head downward.

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I told him not to push me. He said he never pushed me. He insisted once more.

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At that point, I felt like a royal pain in the ass. I felt it was easier to just do it than to keep arguing.

And I told myself I liked it. Afterward, as we talked to his roommate, he got behind me and made a humping motion to show off.

I spent a long time believing that this encounter was consensual. I thought being pressured into sex was just something women had to deal with.

But it made me more wary of future hookups. After all, that guy had seemed so sweet and innocent.

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Who else could unexpectedly pressure me, embarrass me, and treat me like a conquest? My experience is extremely common.